Round and Round – A Repost
February 19, 2010 by Kay · 11 Comments
A comment Tempest made in the last (re) post made me think of a post that I wrote in July 2007. I decided to post it again as it also fits with the current theme of my spiritual life.
The following is that post:
A couple of weeks ago I wrote a post (now deleted) explaining my decision to leave off Christianity. Part of what I was experiencing at the time was a sort of cognitive dissonance between what I felt about Jesus, what some books said about Jesus, and what the Bible itself says about Jesus. In a nutshell, I was fine as long as I avoided the Bible – not just the Old Testament, but most of the New Testament as well.
I wandered over to Eileen’s site this morning and followed her redirect to another blog that said, basically and bluntly:
This may be the most important point: being a follower of Christ means that, where rules and regulations are concerned, you TOSS OUT THE ENTIRE OLD TESTAMENT (excepting the commandments), and wing it from your heart. BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT CHRIST SAID TO DO.
And in a way I get that. I could be a follower of Christ if I did that. However, a few thoughts popped into my head as I read Heather’s post:
Why would you exclude the commandments from the ‘great toss out’? Did Jesus say to keep them? (Serious question.)
And if you did decide to keep the commandments – which ones? The ten? The entire law? Did Jesus specify?
How do we know that ‘Jesus said so’? Because the New Testament says he did?
Why would we toss out the OT but not the NT? Do we keep the Gospels but toss the others? Surely Revelation must go and Paul’s “submission” speech? Where do we draw the line?
Aren’t we using a group of books (in which Jesus “says” stuff) to justify tossing out another group of books?
I’m not an atheist and I’m not trying to disprove Christianity. I’m seriously curious and very confused.
In most ways I agree that the Bible is a pain in the ass stumbling block. I’d like to toss the whole thing and still be a follower of the Christ. I don’t understand how that is possible unless he speaks to me directly. Jesus was to send a “helper,” which in my mind seems like it would be the spirit of God, not a book. But why do I think that? Because a BOOK said so.
And round and round and round we go.
Jesus Was an Apocalyptic Prophet – a Quote
February 14, 2010 by Kay · 7 Comments
In an effort to be honest with myself I am posting the following quote:
In the end, of course, what matters is where the evidence leads us, more than an ability to assure ourselves that we’re not making Jesus in our self-images. And the evidence has always pointed strongly in favor of an apocalyptic Jesus. But being receptive to historical figures whose views oppose our own is often at least an indication, if not a sure bet, that we’re on the right track (and avoiding autobiography in favor of biography).
The Coyote Gets the Bird
February 13, 2010 by Kay · Leave a Comment
Giggle. Snort. Giggle.
Be warned -- it has both bad language and cartoon blood. 
Why I Have Difficulty with Christianity as a Spiritual Framework
February 13, 2010 by Kay · 20 Comments
I expressed in my Inner Guidance post that I’ve been having “Christ feelings” lately. They come and they go, and they are interspersed with equally strong “Pagan feelings.”
They make me feel rather nutters.
Still, they were there and they were strong. I decided not to ignore them.
So, the past couple of days I’ve been exploring the Christian blogosphere, looking for a glimmer in the darkness; looking for something that feels right.
Instead I find stuff that makes me want to run screaming in the opposite direction of all things Christian.
In hanging out at James’ blog and reading the comments on one of his posts, I was reminded of a post I read a long time ago, so I went looking for it. This post (like it did before) took me to a few other posts which discussed the same subject:
Was Jesus wrong?
And in a nutshell – yes he was.
And ya know, if Jesus was wrong about so much stuff, I can honestly ask the question “Why bother?”
Yes, I could follow Jesus as some sort of guru; some sort of wise man. But honestly, he doesn’t compel me in that way. It’s not “Jesus the sage” that has ever called to me.
I could toss aside the historical Jesus altogether and go for the idea of a nebulous non-dual “Cosmic Christ,” but I don’t see the point in that either. Or put another way – I don’t see the point in using that terminology to describe what I believe. (It’s using a Jewish term (messiah) in a way that has nothing to do with how it was originally used.)
There is much in the philosophical mishmash that are the Old and New Testaments that I can get behind. I especially resonate with the Gospel of John. However I’m not willing to reinterpret the Bible in a way that the various writers would have disagreed with in order to continue to use the words ‘Christian’ and ‘Jesus’ and ‘Christ.’
I’d feel like I’m lying to myself and others by doing that. And I feel, like I told Laura recently, like I’m hiding from reality when I do that.
I have to believe in the historicity and the reliability of Jesus (as the Christ) in order to remain within the framework (or narrative) of Christianity (however liberal) as a spiritual home.
And I just can’t seem to do that.
Does this mean that I shouldn’t trust my inner guide? Or that I misunderstood it? Or both?
So the schizophrenic psycho continues her journey. 
PS – This is the Osho card I drew tonight
The bird pictured on this card is looking out from what seems to be a cage. There is no door, and actually the bars are disappearing. The bars were an illusion, and this small bird is being summoned by the grace and freedom and encouragement of the others. It is spreading its wings, ready to take flight for the very first time.
The dawn of a new understanding – that the cage has always been open, and the sky has always been there for us to explore – can make us feel a little shaky at first. It’s fine, and natural to be shaky, but don’t let it overshadow the opportunity to experience the lightheartedness and adventure on offer, right there alongside the shakiness.
Move with the sweetness and gentleness of this time. Feel the fluttering within. Spread your wings and be free.
Inner Guidance
February 9, 2010 by Kay · 17 Comments
Over the past few days I’ve been having the “don’t give up on Christ” feelings that I’ve gotten in the past whenever I’ve wandered away from Christ as my “axis mundi.”
These feelings are so dang weird! (See my schizophrenic post for more on this weirdness.)
Last night the feelings were particularly strong and I said to myself (or perhaps to God) – “Are these feelings supposed to bring me back to the center? Are they some sort of guide or are they just my mental processes?” (They really don’t feel like mental processes. And yes, I know that makes me sound nutters to some of you. C’est la vie.)
Anywhoo … So this morning as I logged on to my blog I wondered what to write about. (I still have a bit of a blogging block going on.) And, as usual, I decided to do a single Osho Zen tarot card reading.
Here is what I drew:
The angelic figure with rainbow-colored wings on this card represents the guide that each of us carries within. Like the second figure in the background, we may sometimes be a little reluctant to trust this guide when it comes to us, because we are so accustomed to taking our cues from the outside rather than from the inside. The truth of your own deepest being is trying to show you where to go right now, and when this card appears it means you can trust the inner guidance you are being given. It speaks in whispers, and sometimes we can hesitate, not knowing if we have understood rightly. But the indications are clear: in following the inner guide you will feel more whole, more integrated, as if you are moving outwards from the very center of your being. If you go with it, this beam of light will carry you exactly where you need to go.
Really? Inner guide? Speaks in whispers? Integration? Moving to the center?
I’m kinda freaking out right now. In a good way, but still … freaking out a little.