Send Loving Kindness to Your Pain
February 4, 2010 by Kay · 4 Comments
In addition to reading Jack Kornfield’s A Path With Heart, I am also listening to Thich Nhat Hanh’s Creating True Peace.
Something that TNH says that I really appreciate is instead of reacting to your pain (of whatever nature) with fear or anger or hate, react to your pain by sending it love and kindness.
Guess what? It really helps.
When I feel myself getting upset with someone at work (a type of pain), I stop and I send loving kindness to myself and to my reaction.
“Hello anger. Hello impatience. I see you. I accept you.”
Instead of a downward spiral of anger and frustration, it stops in its tracks. The anger towards the other lessens dramatically and I also don’t beat myself up for feeling that anger in the first place. I don’t feel anger towards them and I don’t feel anger towards me. I also don’t pass that anger onto someone else that might not have been involved at all. (You know how that goes, when you’re having a “bad day.” It’s a non-stop pissy fest.)
It’s a great mindfulness meditation that you can do all day long … Hello sadness. Hello pain. Hello impatience. I see you. I love you. I accept you.
Possibly, but not necessarily, related posts:
Good reminder to simply notice what arises! It’s so easy to forget that we don’t have to act on anger, frustration, etc. by having to squash it, get rid of it, or act it out. We can notice it and that be it. What a concept!!
I think that’s a really interesting idea, basically accepting the pain rather than trying to deny it with the mind’s typical defenses of anger and hostility. I will keep an eye on my moods over the next days and see if this shows signs of working for me – thank you for the idea
Laura,
It is a challenge. I used it last night after a brief argument with my husband. The argument happened and I participated, but I think implementing this idea stopped the argument short and it definitely helped me calm down and not stew.
Tempest,
You are welcome! I’d love to know if it helps at all.